And here it is, the last day of June 2010.
(The date may say the 29th, U.S. vs. Nepal time zones = big difference)
Just two more night at our Ganesh Himal hotel. Emotions are running a bit high, exhaustion is becoming overwhelming, and time is quickly vanishing. The last few days have been filled with the same ministries we have been involved with since our return from Pokhara, but just a little bit more packed... did I say a little bit? I meant jam packed. Everyone wants to do everything, we still have many tasks to complete (finished the translating yesterday!), and I am here writing this blog to you. Its a necessary outlet, right? :)
As I have mentioned previously, many of my team members believe they will return to Nepal. I'm excited to see how that all lays out, but only time will reveal those events. Many conversations have to do with the love we have discovered for the people we are both serving and serving alongside. An abundance of tears is sure to come in the next few weeks as their hearts will break from being separated from their passions and from one another. And where does that place me as a leader? A rather difficult situation. I am relieved that they will be a phone call away, some a half hour drive, but I will still be responsible for them to an extent. They are now my babies, I am already having separation anxiety, and I don't want them to walk any lonely roads by themselves. God give me wisdom, love, strength, the right words to say, or silent understanding.
It is raining lightly. Perhaps Kathmandu is sad to see us go. I just can't stop wondering who will return, when, for how long, and what they will be doing. Guess praying is all I can do for now.
My thoughts, oddly, have been all about doing a YWAM DTS (Youth With a Mission Discipleship Training School). Two days ago I was growing frustrated with the fact that I hadn't taken time out earlier, while after high school or during college to do a DTS. Fortunately, the Lord quickly calmed me saying that I was exactly where I was suppose to be and had walked the correct path placed before me. But, why has this desire sprung up in me so quickly and now. In times past, I thought that it would be cool to do.. one day... I even put it on a time line of my life in a Consumer Behavior course I took last summer at APU. But now, I'm done with college, I'm starting a real-life job in just a few weeks. When in the world will I have the chance to take 6 months + off to do a DTS?! I don't know. I do not know. I have no idea. But, why has this been placed inside me with a this silly giddy hope? Any ideas? Please!
Another rant for your entertainment, joy :)
Today will consist of many different things. But, tonight! We are having a party at Shushmas (one of our wonderful translators) and she is making us Dal Bot (I haven't a clue what I am going to do without it in the states, I crave it always, and have it typically every other day) and lots of wonderful people are coming. It should be a delight.
Thanks for your interest and your prayers.
I hope you understand that they truly do change the world.
All my love,
p.s. Title 'Teach Me Mercy' has to do with recent scripture readings. I love the book of James. I read 1st Peter and many others as well & a theme that I have been stuck on is mercy. We will be given mercy to the extent that we have given it to others. I cannot recall a personal example as to how I have shown mercy. I do not think I understand what exactly it is. The clique answer = not getting something that you rightly deserve. But, how does this play out in day-to-day living? How can I act in such a way? Part of my asks God to give me opportunities, but then does that somehow translate into: "Have someone wrong me so that I can practice mercy." Why in the world would I make such a request?
I don't know once again. And now I will laugh at my ignorance. O, Lord I teach me wisdom and the opportunity to learn the true meaning of mercy. (other then clearly the mercy He has given each of us through His death & resurrection & therefore, salvation & eternity with Him forever!)
K, k, truly I am done!