This week has been a challenge, but the startup of Circles has brought a lot of..... hope.
I was out of town for work (for TWO weeks). The traveling for work lifestyle drains me quickly and offers little resource for being refilled, being loved, being encouraged... I was by myself working with two individuals who are older than myself, married, and can hold the title "boss." I felt alone, kinda abandoned. And I do not handle alone, isolation, being by myself very well. I actually am quite horrible at being alone. I was in Fresno, worked 8-5 and then was alone the rest of the evening. Where is the purpose when you aren't in relationship?!
So, to say the least, I was DRAINED when I made the drive back to the O.C.
I was given Friday OFF from work.... which rarely ever happens at my firm, but PRAISE the LORD, because I needed it. I was able to get things done around my apartment, sleep, and not have to be sitting in an office all day staring out a window into construction and fog. AND I was able to go to lunch at RH. So good, there were just three of us, but I was able to be myself, eat food, and laugh as stories were shared and glimpses of out lives were discussed. I didn't feel any sort or pressure, any expectations on me; I was just able to be there and enjoy it. This doesn't happen often; isn't that crazy? I constantly feel surrounded by expectations and people thinking I should act a certain way. Maybe its all in my head, but its how I feel.
Anyways, lunch was great. Loved it.
Saturday's meeting was great as well. Group discussion on listening & speaking, hollar. Identifying the noise and why I allow it to take away from conversations is something that I need to re-evaluate frequently. Learning to seek silence... ahhhh, I don't want to right now... but I need to!
All this to say... Circles, everyone's blogs, lunches together, meetings & discussing Jesus on Saturdays + everything else = brings Corinne HOPE :)
Okay, so I apologize for the mess that I have written.... it probably doesn't make any logical sense.