Friday, March 4, 2011

Requesting a Change Order

This morning I woke up incredibly uneasy. I don't know what to do.

- Pray
- Throw myself into the Word
- Seek God
- Have an audible (on my end) conversation with God sharing that I do not want to fear, I want to find peace in His plan and His faithfulness, His love. His love is enough.
- But, what is this horrible feeling sinking into my the pit of where I feel my heart sits.
- I wanted today to be a day of choosing joy, peace, and celebration.

I shared last Saturday with my group that I have found myself to be rather moody at times (jumping from excitement to depression from love to selfishness). Its a rollercoast that has crashed a few times. It sucks. I don't want to be this way and I am trying to figure out why and how to change. And all of this was rather ironic with the Bible study and the conversation that was shared.

Today may be that day of change or it is fast approaching, why am I on the verge of tears when I need this so much? Perhaps I fear that it is not today. Perhaps I fear the pain in the midst change. But, it has got to be better than where I am currently at, right? I need to let go and let God. I need to stand fast and confidently in the knowledge that I am His daughter and His beloved. I need to get out of this funk. I want change desperately. I hate where I am currently at. God, please pick me up and hold me close speaking love to me.

I still want my life to be a beautiful sweet sound of worship to you.


  1. I already feel better knowing that someone else will read this.

  2. corinne, thanks for sharing! the faith you show in writing that last paragraph is so sweet. praying for you!

  3. May God hug your heart and hold you close as you wrestle with this. Much love to you.

  4. I love the title of this post Corinne. It may not happen overnight but you will get out of the funk! We all get there sometimes...but that's why we have each other to walk through it together. Hang in there. Keep that beautiful spirit of yours shining. I will see you at Circles tomorrow!! =)

  5. Thank you for being so open with us! I will be be praying that the spirit of God comforts you and that you will encounter unconditional love!

  6. I can see your endurance growing! Recognize that the peace at the next peak is beyond your current understanding! Keep pressing! And know that these desires in you right now are already pleasing to Him!

    When I was reading this, this came to mind:
    Not allowing ANYTHING to compromise us and God staying good. Nothing can compromise our relationship with Him. It's the primary root, and we need to take action in order to stay straight with God.
    Think about where you're letting anything in between you and Him.

    Praying for you!

  7. Your life IS a beautiful sweet sound of worship to Him. He knows your heart! How beautiful is THAT.

  8. It's awesome see your spirit and heart growing.

  9. Thanks for sharing your hearts cry. I just want to encourage you with the verse James 4:8 " Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you..." He loves that you want Him and as you continue to pursue Him, He is drawing near to you even though at this time you may not see Him. You are His precious daughter! He loves you more than words could say and loves all that you are. You are beautiful in His eyes. I'll be praying for you :)

  10. Im glad you shared where your heart has been currently at. ANd like Charity said, I agree that your title is a good one :) It says it all. The fact that you can acknowledge you are not happy and want change is a great place to start. Praying fo sho.