Thank you

We have been placed together in these moments, in these months for amazing, unfathomable, incomprehensible, and brilliant reasons. For such a time as this. Glory to God forever & ever. I read your blogs and there is so much growth, lots of difficulty, but the greatest amount of honesty and the Lord’s truth is reigning freedom down on each one of you. I read the comments/replies and my heart just melts because of the beautiful encouragement and inspiring words that are shared. Like who are we?! We are the Church! We are brothers and sisters of the Most High Sovereign God and He knew we would need each other to walk these roads of life and prepare us for whatever He has in store.

How unbelievable. You have already changed me. I read your blogs and I am mystified at the parallels I can relate to. Some of you are going through things that are just a few steps ahead of where I feel I am at and I am so encouraged because I am not alone. You are there and you love unselfishly, completely, with the most pure intent.

Thank you.

This weekend has been draining and restful. Is that even possible? I doubt it. I slowed down a lot and really kept to myself, other than my roommate, but I am drained because my heart is hurting a great amount. Its devastating and I don’t understand it, but I have faith that the Lord is receiving the greatest amount of glory and doing what is best for the kingdom, but its hard. It sucks. I don’t get it. BUT, at Third Wednesday God revealed to me, “Hey Corinne, my love, choose joy, choose sorrow, choose what you want and hold onto it firmly. But, you have a choice, move forward in that.” So, I am moving forward in His promise. Sometimes I am overcome, but those moments pass.

I praise you Jesus. 

May I rejoice

It is said that one can break an addiction if 21 days of abstinence are undergone. The withdrawals might be crushing, heart-breaking, the yearning for the desired can be so disheartening. But in the end, if I am able to be set free of my captivity by the grace of God, then, I believe looking back at the 21 days will appear to be but a moment, a wink from my Creator, a short second in time. But, at day 4, another 17 days feels like an eternity. How ridiculous, but really. I believe that every individual has an addiction. Everyone fills a void in their hearts with something, whether it be food, alcohol, relationships, cards, shopping, working out, reality shows, reading religious books, social networks, or what the 'holy spot' in our heart is really for, which is Christ alone.

And He is the one that I wish to fill my entire being. Move over everything else for the King is truly in town and He is the capture of my heart. May all else fade as I wish to be living in every fiber of my being for His glory. I want to exude the true love of Christ. I wish to glow from the inside out because He has made me, He has saved me, and He is alive in me.

I feel that I need to go back over that dreaded paperwork from last Saturday once again. Seriously, it could take me a lifetime to complete, and even then I would have to begin for a second time once I had finished. Identifying the sin, confessing it, and removing it from my life is such a challenge, but one that I am ready to face. I just need to know and feel that HE is on my side and that I am not alone; that others are willing to share unselfish love with me and deal with my moments of frustration, growing pains, and all the withdrawal effects. Help me.

Can we bake cookies together soon? Maybe a trip to the beach? Reading and conversation over tea? Movie night? And o, how I wish to make it to a waffle night one of these days J But, I am a one-on-one type if you haven’t noticed as of yet. Guilty am I. But I was made this way and I love the one who designed me. 

Philippians 4

Starry Night - Chris August

Requesting a Change Order

This morning I woke up incredibly uneasy. I don't know what to do.

- Pray
- Throw myself into the Word
- Seek God
- Have an audible (on my end) conversation with God sharing that I do not want to fear, I want to find peace in His plan and His faithfulness, His love. His love is enough.
- But, what is this horrible feeling sinking into my the pit of where I feel my heart sits.
- I wanted today to be a day of choosing joy, peace, and celebration.

I shared last Saturday with my group that I have found myself to be rather moody at times (jumping from excitement to depression from love to selfishness). Its a rollercoast that has crashed a few times. It sucks. I don't want to be this way and I am trying to figure out why and how to change. And all of this was rather ironic with the Bible study and the conversation that was shared.

Today may be that day of change or it is fast approaching, why am I on the verge of tears when I need this so much? Perhaps I fear that it is not today. Perhaps I fear the pain in the midst change. But, it has got to be better than where I am currently at, right? I need to let go and let God. I need to stand fast and confidently in the knowledge that I am His daughter and His beloved. I need to get out of this funk. I want change desperately. I hate where I am currently at. God, please pick me up and hold me close speaking love to me.

I still want my life to be a beautiful sweet sound of worship to you.

Glory to Him forever & ever, Amen.

Perfection

 [per-fek-shuhn]

–noun

1.     the state or quality of being or becoming perfect.

2.     a perfect  embodiment or example of something.

Meanings: Excellence, accomplishment

Synonyms: Faultlessness, rightness, exactness, precision, flawlessness

Urban Dictionary:

     1. .an impossibility, something unattainable, something that cannot be reached..ever.

     2. Cannot be defined by one person, perfection means something different to everyone.

Setting an example. Seeking to become the ideal. Being better than those around you in every way. Not having faults. Having everything figured out and living confidently in that. But, who defines this perfection? Each person has their own idea of what it means to be perfect. And, we aren’t called to be perfection.

Please, CAN I JUST SHOUT THAT I DON’T WANT TO BE ON A PEDASTOL. Can I tell everyone that I make a lot of mistakes. I don’t have it figured out. I don’t do everything right and I don’t know. I am not the ideal. I am messed up. I am working on it. I need grace. I need mercy. I need patience. I need help. I want God to use my strengths and my weaknesses. I want less of me for more of God’s glory. I want transparency, honesty, truth, and openness. I want to live and leave an offering, not a legacy.

This week we are discussing not being a Christian cyborg/ robot. The Circles blog was so good & spoke greatly to me. “I learned during that first year was that my students didn’t need a spotless role model, they needed a real example.” I want to be a real example. I want to strive to be better. I want to work every day to become more of the person God wants me to be for each day, but I don’t want to give off the impression that I think I am perfect. I want true humility. “And they needed to know that in the midst of our failure and mismanagement, Jesus is with us every step of the way.” Mmmm, so tasty, so good. “What I learned was that it’s ok to simply and honestly embrace who I am, and that includes my victories and my failures in equal measure.” “to lead from the truth of who I was, that I actually started to inspire those around me. “

This is me embracing who I am. Every part of me. I am going to strive to roccccck it :)  Passing all the glory to Him above, may my life me a sweet love sound of praise to YOU. 

Take the time and be love.

Each day this week I have thought "Hey, I should blog today." And each day I end up reading other blogs and saying, "eh, I'll write tomorrow." But now its SATURDAY and I don't know what to say. Are your ready for a mumble-jumble-mess? :) If so, thank you.

1. I have been reading in Nouwen's book (keeping on top of it this time ;)) and I have been challenged and its so good, especially about judging, or rather not passing judgement. I want to be accepting, I want to be understanding, I want to be love, I want to be a light. The last thing I desire is for someone to think I'm close-minded and judgmental.

2. God has helped me become more in-touch with living out my desire to have a servants heart. I'm not down at the soup kitchen :( , but I am choosing to listen to the people around me, be what God needs me to be for them, and to serve in small ways: doing dishes for my roommates, writing encouraging notes, tuning into the lives of the people I work with, and doing the little things. Aiming to put them above myself. I want to become more and more intentional in it all.

3. I am coming back to a heart of love. I love love so much. God is love and love is real. It is what makes the world go round and it changes everything. I think a lot of people do not accept the love that is given to them (I am sometimes guilty of this as well), but some do not know how to accept it, some don't understand it, and some just don't think about it. BUT it is what everyone needs. There is a song that my roommate my first year at APU and I talked about all the time, one of the lines is "If you need love, take the time and be love."Sooooo good. I am striving to be love. I used to be very intentional in this, but I lost sight within the last.... 6 months or so.... I am trying to figure out the cause so that it doesn't happen again, but I am ecstatic about the Lord bringing me back to this place of giving love in abundance to the people around me because He is so persistent in re-filling me.

A-E Updatttted

a) I'm only on page 30 of Here and Now, which is not half way.
b) I have not watched the podcast.
c) Your blogs change turn my frown upside down & seriously make me energized, joyful, and inspired.
d) You are a blessing.
e) I cannot wait to see you again. LUNCH TOMORROW? perfect.

O, The mess I have made.

I find myself being so incredible self-centered. I dwell on my insecurities. I fascinate on other people not loving me the way I want them to. I blame everyone else for my lack of self-assurance. I place on everyone the guilt of my issues.

It’s not their fault. It’s not God’s fault. It’s my stubbornness, my ridiculousness, my selfishness. It’s killing me. I consume lies from the master of deceit every day like its oxygen and I throw out everything positive people say to me because I think they are just trying to make me feel good, or they have to, or they’re lying. Really, I’m so self-consumed and its all so stupid it makes me sick as I write this.

Every day typically starts out with the possibility of being a great day. Unless I went to bed late I am positive, upbeat, joyful and have a smile on my face. But, I get so worn down at work and my thoughts turn to self-pity. Ugh, come on. By the end of the day I place on others the burden of making me feel better about life, about who I am.

Talk about putting someone up the fail.

I cannot believe who I have become. It half way disgusts me and half way breaks my own heart. Where did I go so wrong? When did I turn to so much selfishness?

God, I beg you to turn me around. To help me take my eyes from myself and focus straight on you and your children. Help me to see the needs of those around me and forget myself completely. May I seek joy in every situation and may your joy be my strength.

God, I reject the lies of the enemy. I declare Jesus freedom, forgiveness, peace, and love over me and my fellow Circle slices. God, I am sorry. Please pick me up out of my own mess. May you be my hope and my confidence. 

Re-evaluating the "talk"

This week has been a challenge, but the startup of Circles has brought a lot of..... hope.

I was out of town for work (for TWO weeks). The traveling for work lifestyle drains me quickly and offers little resource for being refilled, being loved, being encouraged... I was by myself working with two individuals who are older than myself, married, and can hold the title "boss." I felt alone, kinda abandoned. And I do not handle alone, isolation, being by myself very well. I actually am quite horrible at being alone. I was in Fresno, worked 8-5 and then was alone the rest of the evening. Where is the purpose when you aren't in relationship?!

So, to say the least, I was DRAINED when I made the drive back to the O.C.

I was given Friday OFF from work.... which rarely ever happens at my firm, but PRAISE the LORD, because I needed it. I was able to get things done around my apartment, sleep, and not have to be sitting in an office all day staring out a window into construction and fog. AND I was able to go to lunch at RH. So good, there were just three of us, but I was able to be myself, eat food, and laugh as stories were shared and glimpses of out lives were discussed. I didn't feel any sort or pressure, any expectations on me; I was just able to be there and enjoy it. This doesn't happen often; isn't that crazy? I constantly feel surrounded by expectations and people thinking I should act a certain way. Maybe its all in my head, but its how I feel.

Anyways, lunch was great. Loved it.
Saturday's meeting was great as well. Group discussion on listening & speaking, hollar. Identifying the noise and why I allow it to take away from conversations is something that I need to re-evaluate frequently. Learning to seek silence... ahhhh, I don't want to right now... but I need to!

All this to say... Circles, everyone's blogs, lunches together, meetings & discussing Jesus on Saturdays + everything else = brings Corinne HOPE :)

Okay, so I apologize for the mess that I have written.... it probably doesn't make any logical sense.

CIRCLES, An introduction:

Hi, I'm Corinne. I was born March 1st to Mr & Mrs Robert (Bob) & Holly. I am the firstborn of four. Curtis: 20, Courtney: 16, Connor: 15. I was raised going to church and attending a private Christian school not to far from home. I moved down to the Southern California area to transfer to Azusa Pacific University (APU), quite possibly the best college ever. Just this last May I graduated with a degree in Accounting. Just a few weeks after graduation I led a mission’s trip to Nepal (which you can read about below if you’re interested) and two weeks after arriving back in the States I started my position as an accountant at a firm in Irvine. I am still employed there and they keep me very busy. I audit local and regional governments, federal clients, not-for-profits, and entities along those lines. This year I have set before me the goal of passing all four parts of the CPA exam. Should be a great challenge, but so worth it when I’m done.

Before I heard about Circles I was on the search for a mentor and only dead ends were to be found.  I was also interested in joining a small group, but this didn’t exactly work out either. Transitioning from APU to life in the corporate world has been really difficult and I yearn for a close-knit community of authentic people who love on each other, seek God together, and are working to build His Kingdom. Basically, I want everything that Circles is defined as. Iron sharpening iron, new amazing truths of the Lord revealed through one another. I cannot begin to share how excited I am.

What I want more than anything: 

To hear the Lord say, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” 

I think you can tell a lot about a person by the people they surround themselves with. So here is a short introduction to a few of my favorites:
 

These are my lovely roommates. We enjoy our trips to Disneyland. Miss Dani is on the far left, then Ashley  (the birthday girl in this picture), myself, and Alex. They graduated from APU with me and are constant joys in my life.

 This is my baby sister whom I mentioned above, Miss Courtney Brooke. She is simply amazing and totally gorgeous. I want her to move down to So Cal and live with me, but shes only 16, so that might still be a while. I hope that she comes and visits soon & I can bring her to Rock Harbor.

P.S. I really really like flowers: 

Reflecting through the tears

My roommates have left to go out dancing. I have cleaned the kitchen and sit with a glass of water as my company. What to do in the silence? What to do now that life has gone through so many changes this past year. I would have given most anything to have a few solid moments of silence to myself with nothing to think of and nothing to do and nothing to think about doing just a few months ago, but now its weird. I don’t know if to enjoy it or wish there was someone by my side. Perhaps I should seek God’s company and appreciate these moments because soon they may be impossible to come by. So I choose to be thankful instead of embarrassed at having little to do. I have accomplished much and should be at peace in this silence.

He never lets go, you know? He is always there. Its all about acknowledgment. Thank you God that tomorrow is Sunday.

Transitioning from college to big girl life has been really hard and I haven’t paid attention to how difficult it has been. I haven’t reflected, I have ignored, I have simply told myself that this is the next step and every step in better than the last, but I miss college. I miss being needed. I miss being surrounded by people who love God and love me and tell me so constantly. I miss being appreciated by so many. I miss being encouraged continuously. I miss being a great catalyst of God’s love. I miss  having so much purpose in every day and just titling it as my life. When I say I miss these things its not that I am not getting these different needs, but it once came from like 50+ people & now those surrounding me has significantly been reduced. Its not that those 50+ individuals have walked out on me, its just life & distance.

We don’t have to constantly be going. But, I have been conditioned to think otherwise. Ahhhh, NO GOOD. It okay to sit & take in the view.

O, hey Pandora in the background: “It happens in a blink it happens in a flash it happens in the time it took to look back. I try to hold on tight but there’s not stopping now. What is it I have done with my life?”

I just want HIM to be proud of me & I feel that I am not living up to this greatness.

But, who am I & where am I headed? I pray these tears dry & no more mascara streaks will make their way down my cheeks for a very long time. 

Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. May love be poured out on you today. 

A Heart of Thanksgiving

We have made it to Singapore. Debrief has been wonderful so far. I have enjoyed every moment. Tomorrow should be filled with more love, peace, pleasure, and memories to last forever. Then we fly home the following morning. I think I have a lot of processing to do still. Your prayers are a blessing.

Thank you for reading. I pray that the Lord bestows upon you love, mercy, wisdom, and a thankful heart.

p.s. James of the New Testament is a great book to read if you are in need :)

Pictures

...is this what you want?
Here are a few: http://s878.photobucket.com/albums/ab343/Team_Nepal_2010/


Hope you enjoy :)

Teach Me Mercy

And here it is, the last day of June 2010.
(The date may say the 29th, U.S. vs. Nepal time zones = big difference)

Just two more night at our Ganesh Himal hotel. Emotions are running a bit high, exhaustion is becoming overwhelming, and time is quickly vanishing. The last few days have been filled with the same ministries we have been involved with since our return from Pokhara, but just a little bit more packed... did I say a little bit? I meant jam packed. Everyone wants to do everything, we still have many tasks to complete (finished the translating yesterday!), and I am here writing this blog to you. Its a necessary outlet, right? :)

As I have mentioned previously, many of my team members believe they will return to Nepal. I'm excited to see how that all lays out, but only time will reveal those events. Many conversations have to do with the love we have discovered for the people we are both serving and serving alongside. An abundance of tears is sure to come in the next few weeks as their hearts will break from being separated from their passions and from one another. And where does that place me as a leader? A rather difficult situation. I am relieved that they will be a phone call away, some a half hour drive, but I will still be responsible for them to an extent. They are now my babies, I am already having separation anxiety, and I don't want them to walk any lonely roads by themselves. God give me wisdom, love, strength, the right words to say, or silent understanding.

It is raining lightly. Perhaps Kathmandu is sad to see us go. I just can't stop wondering who will return, when, for how long, and what they will be doing. Guess praying is all I can do for now.

My thoughts, oddly, have been all about doing a YWAM DTS (Youth With a Mission Discipleship Training School). Two days ago I was growing frustrated with the fact that I hadn't taken time out earlier, while after high school or during college to do a DTS. Fortunately, the Lord quickly calmed me saying that I was exactly where I was suppose to be and had walked the correct path placed before me. But, why has this desire sprung up in me so quickly and now. In times past, I thought that it would be cool to do.. one day... I even put it on a time line of my life in a Consumer Behavior course I took last summer at APU. But now, I'm done with college, I'm starting a real-life job in just a few weeks. When in the world will I have the chance to take 6 months + off to do a DTS?! I don't know. I do not know. I have no idea. But, why has this been placed inside me with a this silly giddy hope? Any ideas? Please!

Another rant for your entertainment, joy :)

Today will consist of many different things. But, tonight! We are having a party at Shushmas (one of our wonderful translators) and she is making us Dal Bot (I haven't a clue what I am going to do without it in the states, I crave it always, and have it typically every other day) and lots of wonderful people are coming. It should be a delight.

Thanks for your interest and your prayers.
I hope you understand that they truly do change the world.

All my love,
Corinne

p.s. Title 'Teach Me Mercy' has to do with recent scripture readings. I love the book of James. I read 1st Peter and many others as well & a theme that I have been stuck on is mercy. We will be given mercy to the extent that we have given it to others. I cannot recall a personal example as to how I have shown mercy. I do not think I understand what exactly it is. The clique answer = not getting something that you rightly deserve. But, how does this play out in day-to-day living? How can I act in such a way? Part of my asks God to give me opportunities, but then does that somehow translate into: "Have someone wrong me so that I can practice mercy." Why in the world would I make such a request?
I don't know once again. And now I will laugh at my ignorance. O, Lord I teach me wisdom and the opportunity to learn the true meaning of mercy. (other then clearly the mercy He has given each of us through His death & resurrection & therefore, salvation & eternity with Him forever!)

K, k, truly I am done!

He is Truth

Morning = early

Pashtupati = cutting fingernails & toenails of all the elderly. I wasn’t expecting it, would I have been notified ahead of time I would have been weary. Don’t want to hurt them, want to make sure everything is smooth so it doesn’t cause a cut, many have missing limbs, most are incredibly senile and yelling all the time. Prior to the challenge I would have thought I would be a bit terrified, but I loved it. I want to go back every day & trim their nails. Many would kiss my hands & bow. They treated me like the Messiah. It was incredible to catch a glimpse of what Jesus may have felt during times in His ministry.

Maiti Nepal = incredibly quick. Learned some, but not much more then their news clips, articles, website, films, etc. have already explained to us. They didn’t want us to take up too much of their time, but were hospitable enough to share with us a presentation and answer a short Q&A time. It was just a little off. I don’t mean to accuse them of anything. They shouldn’t have anything to hide when their intentions and actions are good.

Street Kids = My team has fallen in love with these boys. Boys addicted to the streets. Boys that know how to play on emotion, morph into what they know will make you melt, they lie, cheat, steal, anything to get what they need or want. They know the part to play. Boys that have the opportunity to change it all, but refuse due to addiction. My team has fallen for them. It could be dangerous it could be what Jesus would do.

Dance Bar = 5 of my babies are out their right now doing their thing. I am praying for them, the girls they are ministering to, and the men would are simply looking for a good time, but desperately needing Jesus. 

And He is Love

I pulled up an online radio station a few days ago while working on translating. The last time I heard the song that came on was when my Christian Missions in the 21^st Century class (changed my life) visited the Dream Center in LA and went to Church of Angeles (or something like that). Concert status, but I cannot believe that was the song that came up. “Everybody dance, everybody move, we can make a change from New York to LA LA LA LA.” Repeat it! “We all need love, a different kind of love, one that only comes from above.”

Anyways, that may have been an odd rant, BUT I LOVE IT.

It is Friday morning before breakfast – I continue to wake up between 6-7am. I enjoy it; alone time is a necessity for me.

Life has been good. I am feeling much better, probably about 80% currently, but without difficult pains and the constant need to be asleep in bed. J The team continues to be little busy bees out here changing the world for Jesus. They are unbelievable, never ceasing, but persistently giving forth their all to accomplish much for the kingdom. They are impacting lives every day. It is difficult for me to watch them doubt themselves, their usefulness, or their ability to move mountains and shake up this country a bit.

One of the greatest truths that God has taught me on this trip is His ability to use me here and now, in the moment. Everyone always asks, “Are you ready?” when faced with something new. The world always tells me, “No, you should have done so much more to prepare, prayed more, read your Bible more, you are never quite there, you will never be completely ready for this moment.” But, these are straight up words from hell. There is a reason for everything under the sun and I am good enough. I am ready for the plans set before me today, for the opportunities and challenges that arise. If I weren’t then God wouldn’t give them to me. I don’t need to be more than what I am. I am designed for these moments; that is why I am here in my shoes. Praise the Lord O, My soul. Praise the Lord.

Another observation: the need for business minds in ministry. The majority of organizations we visit are desperate for someone to organize their business: create inventory systems, accounting spreadsheets, design websites, create marketing plans, eye-catching advertisements, drafting grants, and everything else that we learn in our business classes. Though I would say when it comes to accounting I am an average new college graduate, the basic knowledge and skills that I have can help these organizations (who are saving women from sex-trafficking, keeping kids from living on the streets, providing jobs for the down & out) become more efficient and effective, increasing their ministry opportunities.

Today we are going to Pashtupati, where the sisters are for sure going to drain every ounce of energy from each one of us. We will have enough time to shower & eat before heading to Maiti Nepal (the largest organization that is saving girls in Nepal). They are outstanding & the news clips we have seen about them & from them are remarkable. I believe we are going to a dance bar tonight. It is going to ultimately be a very long day.

Tomorrow we are going to church (hours & hours of church, but o so good). In the afternoon we are putting on a sports camp for the children from all of the homes we have been visiting. The evening is to consist of visits to children’s homes & a sleep over with some girls from the dance bars we have been ministering at.

We fly to Singapore a week from today. Just 10 more nights out of the country & then I will be asleep in my own bed. So nuts.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-3

God is Good & God is Faithful

I have come to find that the only time I have to blog is when I am ill. Prayers for my health are very much appreciated J

Today is Saturday, 19^th of June. I am sitting in the garden at Hotel Ganesh Himal in Kathmandu. The rest of my team is somewhere between church, lunch, and visiting children’s homes. Justin may actually be teaching English right now. It appears a week and a half has passed since my last writing. But, here we go!

Pokhara was a great change of pace from the craziness we had been experiencing. It is a city on a lake, very touristy, but due to it being off-season the streets were rather empty (loved it). Tiny Hands has two children’s homes located in Pokhara. They are probably some of our favorites. But, to be fair, we spent several days at each, more so then we have with the others located in Kathmandu. We spent our mornings digging trenches at the sight of the Dream Center, Tiny Hands’ latest and largest project. The Dream Center will be a small community of sorts designed for children saved out of horrendous situations. Homes, a school, church, and a school for foreigners to come to study the injustices of the world are some of the structures that will be built on the land. Digging trenches is HARD, but we were able to see immediate results. Not just planting of seeds or watering them, but actually seeing something come from our labor is refreshing and inspiring even the more.

Some fun facts of our adventures (memories to last) include my room (shared with Tay & Ang) being pretty much infested with cockroaches. So gross, Angela would scream and cry and sing about killing them while jumping from bed to bed. Hilarious. Renting motorscooters and exploring the city. Ang nearly killed Chris, but we all made it out alive with…. just a .. few scratches J

But the greatest news of all: My team has been given the opportunity to sponsor our very own children’s home. We must find 10 individuals to commit to donating $50 a month. This will enable us to change the lives of 10 kids. The more sponsors we find the larger the home (more children) can be or if we come across more then enough a second home can come into reality. I have already committed to be a sponsor and I am ecstatic. When we visit homes the children are eager and delighted to share with us pictures of their sponsors and gifts they have received from them. During our time in Pokhara we interviewed prospective parents, visited possible schools, talked through ideas of what we should name the home (ex. Holy Home, Paradise Home, One Way, Living Home, Salvation Home, Morning Star are names of some of the current homes), and we actually met children on the waiting list. These babies are living in prison with their mothers. PRISON! No child should be in prison ever. One of the mothers has HIV and all of the fathers have either passed away or abandoned them. My heart breaks for these Nepali children. How could I not jump at the opportunity to rescue any one of them. Let me know if you have any questions or are possibly interested in being apart of such amazing God work J I would be overjoyed to talk with you when I get back to the States.

We arrived back in Kathmandu on the 15^th in order to prepare for our visit from Chiraphone, the Queen of OWM/Focus International at APU J Many of us were relieved to be "home", which is crazy to think as we didn't have the same sentiment before we left. For our final weeks here we have broken up into teams to tackle as much as we can. We have teams for street children, trafficking, children's homes, one-on-one projects, sports ministry, teaching English, etc. There is a long list of things to get done and it is fantastic to check them off one-by-one and know that we have made a difference. So far I have worked with translating testimonies, many are of girls prevented from crossing the border of India into a life of the sex-trade. Its unbelievable, maybe I can post some for you to read, but I must get permission first. I will also be going over the business processes at Tiny Hands and making recommendations! Super exciting to see God use my college degree in His ministry over seas. But, I knew when I declared it as my major God could use it anytime anywhere for His glory. 

To be honest I was a bit nervous of having CK (Chiraphone) visit simply because she sees truth (sometimes what we cannot see ourselves) and she is very honest about it because it is the Lord's work we are here to accomplish. Ultimately, every moment was a blessing and I wish she could have stayed longer. May God continue to bless her work as she travels to Bhutan and back to Laos. 

Callee's birthday was Thursday and today is Kyle's. My babies (team members) are getting older and I am happy to celebrate life with them. So good.

Sincerely yours! Blessings & Peace - Miss Corinne

p.s. gmail is alive & kicking

Nepal: Kathmandu & Chitwan

:) Love you! Thank you for all the prayers

3 June: I felt horribly under the weather. I stayed at the hotel to rest while the others became testers for young women learning beauty parlor practices. Turns out they got free head and hand massages. Jealous! I had wanted to go, but slept until 4pm…. All day pretty much. Guess I needed it. That night we did a dance club outreach. Check out the team blog for details. It did break my heart that many of the women felt it was their only option (we were able to chat with them when it wasn’t their turn on stage), but I was preparing for the worst and was relieved to find that they were dressed (many had like tube-tank dresses that ended high on the thigh) and not the dirty dancers you find at clubs in America or even high school dances… or the streets of Amsterdam (what I was expecting). I guess it could very well have been scandalous here in Nepal where modesty is very important. Showing the backs of women’s knees is similar to the equivalent of exposing the breasts. Idk, a little outrageous, but just different culture norms. Pray for those trapped in jobs, especially jobs that abuse the individual.

4 June: We visited the Nepalese Home. An NGO that is similar, but larger and more advanced than Tiny Hands. I was very impressed. The homes were very nice and they showed us all their self-sustaining jobs and ideas. Many NGOs here currently depend on foreigner money/ overseas donation. They make carpets, beaded jewelry, and are starting a hot dog vendor business. I think that Nepalese Home is doing a great job rescuing children and preparing them/equipping them for a very bright future. I loved it.

5 June: PRINCESS HOME J We went to a Nepali Church. It was a 4 hour service I think- all in Nepali. Worship was amazing though I didn’t know the words. We were dancing about, shouting, sweating, laughing, praying for each other, and everything great. I prayed for a young girl, maybe 12 who was to my right and she knew it and she loved it & me. I love praying for these beautiful children. The girl introduced me to her family after the service and walked with me (and my team) part of the way to our next stop, the pastor’s home. Ron Jeet (Probably completely spelled wrong, but that’s how I would say it out loud) is both the pastor and the father of the Princess Home. He is AMAZING and his testimony is one in a million if not more. God showed him hell to get him saved! He spoke so much truth that I hung on his every word. He opened up his home to us and showed us multiple children’s homes that he is in charge of. He fed us both lunch and dinner, DeLICious. Mhmm. Lol, and showed us his daughters (I mean to include all the girls he takes care of) jewelry store. Definitely bought a few pieces J How could I not? Lol. Anyways, I would love to spend more time with him and his giant family. So wise and hospitable.

6 June: Sunday!! We went to a padeshi church (foreigners). It was a stark contrast to the Nepali church we had visited the day before. Very mild. Prior to going I was so excited, overjoyed. Worshipping my God, the Father of the universe in my own language with people who may actually understand me as a person?! What could be better, nothing, right? I had expectations, I went in as a consumer, and my hopes were… well… dashed. My heart and soul wanted to cry out, but felt oppressed. It was a church full of people that love God and have given up everything to be missionaries here in Nepal. There’s no question that Jesus is the center of their lives. It just wasn’t what I was hoping for or needed. I need my church from home please. But, still at least a month away. After church we went to lunch as Higher Ground which is all good! Yummy and to help young women and men without jobs skills or an education learn the ends and outs of a restaurant business. The rest of the day was free for the most part. I wandered Thamel with Stephen and Angela, had an iced coffee!!! And tried to just take it easy, however, just walking the streets takes a toll on you, especially when you have Angela with you. She looks Nepali and all the boys love her…. Way the heck too much, lol, but seriously. At the end of the day I didn’t feel rejuvenated, rather exhausted, but I was so excited to get out of the valley the following day! Chitwan here I come & then Pokhara.

7 June: Chitwan = the weather of purgatory? The worst temperature/humidity that I would never wish on anyone. Though sweat is a constant (especially while sleeping) it is quiet and beautiful. I feel that I have fallen into a book series I read when I was younger with a setting of an Indian plantation. The bus ride was 5-6ish hours. I slept mostly and admired the view. People had shared horror stories about the drive. I was thinking everyone would be puking their guts out the window due to the curves and road conditions. I was perfectly content. Praise the Lord. Though the hotel is pleasant and fans are nice (though the electricity is turned off most always) I would never recommend you visit the city of Chitwan. We visited Tiny Hand’s first children home. The kids were great, but we were all so tired, especially after play and before dinner, during dinner, and the ride back to the hotel. Sleeping here is so difficult for me because the temp/hum. The fan… not on… what?! Idk, why you would turn off the electricity when people are paying to stay at your hotel. Anyways, I’m looking forward to traveling to Pokhara in a couple days!

June 8: Adventure day! The morning was spent a) in a boat (like a canoe from Pocahontas) searching for crocodiles, b) in the forest seeing monkeys & deers & buffalo (which are everywhere in Nepal), peacocks & the sort. c) at an elephant breeding resort. They had twins!!! So cute, and d) finally BATHING with ELEPHANTS. So much fun. So much fun. So much fun. We climbed up in groups of three (I was with Angela and Callee) and the elephant (with a guide yelling at it) would go into the river, spray water on us, roll over so we would fall in, and let us jump off its head, lol. It was like a water jungle gym. I loved it. The team loved it. I’m so glad we were able to do this together.  

Sincerely yours, 

Corinne

Written on the 3rd of June

I'm feeling very much under the weather, so I am home at the hotel for the morning while the rest of my team is off on grand adventures (getting their hair cut, eyebrows, facials, etc. done by women who have started working in the beauty trade industry to get out of the sex trade industry. I really really wanted to go.) Only positive: Time to blog

Decided to do highlights :) (These are tidbits, leaving out a lot, sorry!)

29 May: Church was so different, but so great.
We visited a children's home which had 40 kids. 40! The father's name is Bishnu & he is AMAZING. He is nearly blind and joked about still riding his motorcycle super fast. The game I was taken to at the beginning of play involved throwing chickens in the air. I had never done this before, it was quite alarming at first, but hilarious. After a time of playing several games with the young ones I made sure to spend time with the older girls (who are highschoolish age) and they love all the attention though they try to act whateverish at first. They called me sister to get my attention and held my hand wherever we went. I loved wandering around, taking pictures, and being clung to, truly. I think it is of the upmost importance that I focus on the older girls at whatever homes we visit. That night we played mafia at Johns, I won as the mafia, but walked away with an upset tummy & headache from lying. I don't want to be the bad guy again, lol. Rode on the back of a motorcyle today. If my mother reads this you should skip the next sentence :) On motorcyles only the driver wears a helmet & the roads are horrid, it is crazy dangerous in my opinion.

30 May: Breakfast at Northfields, our usual, with one of our contacts who shared stories that would blow anyones mind. I feel that my faith lacks so drastically when these tales are told. I pray for an expansion of faith every day. "Faith the size of a mustard seed moves mountains." What is the size of my faith? Why do I feel so incredibly small and incapable when this is God's promise? In the afternoon we went to my favorite home so far. Motorcycle ride again, saw my life flash before my eyes too many times, but this expands my prayer life, lol. The home was way out away from much of the city noise. The children were beautiful and the family was humble to the greatest extent possible. I loved everything. "Can I move in please?!" Sidenote: Before this trip I didn't know how many kids I wanted if any, now I want to fill my house with bunkbeds and kids. lol, this may change, but it is so wonderful to see here and now. && they called me dede (big sister is Nepali <3)

31 May: Pashtupati = Mother Teresa's home for the elderly = Incredibly devoted nuns/sisters ordering us about doing hard hard work all for Jesus. I cleaned beds, swept, moped, fed people that were SUPER old. I felt like the hands and feet of my Lord and it felt amazing. I was dripping in sweat, dripping, like hot yoga style, lol. The moping is INTENSE. You haven't moped until you have moped for a sister of a Mother Teresa's home. Truth. I was exhausted by the end of the shift. We got there around 8am and I thought it was probably 4pm when we finally were given juice as our thankyou. It was like 11:30, WHAT?! That was only 3&1/2 hours and I am ready for a full night of sleep please. Feeding the oldest individual there, a woman of 97 was something that changed my life. Definitely was frightened at first. I'm sorta scared of elderly. But, I just went for it and I will remember those moments for the rest of my life. I wish there had been a picture take. God will show me one later I'm sure :)

1 June: We worked at Pashtupati. I did much of the same, but helped bathe the women instead of feed them. I was frightened, but once again my world was shaken a bit. Hands and feet baby! It was so good. In the afternoon we went to a prayer time where many representatives come from different organizations to pray for their shared cause of fighting the trafficking of women and children. I loved hearing about the different organizations and what God is doing in their midst. Weak networking is probably what hinders the most growth in stopping this injustice. The traffickers have an incredibly strong network, those fighting them need to have a stronger one. Many organizations stick to themselves and their area, but to see some come together as a unified body was awesome. This is a prayer request: The good guys band together, recognize they are fighting the same fight, and can use each others strengths to cover any weaknesses. And beat the bad guys. God is on their side without a doubt.

2 June: Pashtupati day 3. We finished sanding and painting all of the beds blue. Finally. We then met with an organization that benefits women working in massage parlors, dance bars, and cabins (all which sell sex) through education, medical, counseling, and teaching other trades for them to go into. They seemed to be a newer organization with room for a lot of growth. They were not Christian, but very excited to have us visit. They asked us to volunteer if we have any time later on in our stay. I asked a woman what we would be doing and it sounds like they just want to pick our brain for advice and ideas. They asked if we would put together a report of all of our findings during our time in Nepal. I had never thought of this before, but it could truly make a different. We could send it to all the organizations we visited, the government, other governments (India where girls are trafficked to), and countless others. I pray that fruit will come from such efforts. At this organization a representative from the U.S. Embassy joined us. He was American, his mother-in-law actually went to APU, coincidence :) He specializes in the political & economical areas of Nepal. He was a great addition to our meeting. He wants us to meet the Ambassador. We are to call him a week before our departure to set something up and they want a copy of our essay if we put one together. SO COOL.

Ok, update that isn't too updated :)

Kathmandu has been so crazy. I have learned so much already and have definitely broadened my horizons. Learning more about the sex industry has been devastating, but now this knowledge is my responsibility to do something about it. Children sleeping on the street, beggars everywhere, the elderly dieing right before my eyes, and the diseased treated as less than dirt is all around me. It is unfathomable. God is good all the time, right? But how can this all be going on. This country is so focused on Buddha and every other god in the world, every god but the true God. The little hope they have is all based upon these religions that are nothing more than idols and high places that the Bible warns against. I have met amazing people working here all for the Kingdom. They blow my mind. They have given up all that is America or Europe or home, and come to one of the poorest places in the world where there is nothing fulfilling to do but serve God's people. Its all about Him and not about them, that is for sure.

We have been working with children and the elderly for the most part. Its hard work, really hard, but it is so worth it. I fall asleep feeling like a follower of Jesus, the true Jesus who served everyone around Him. The one who calls us to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, love the fatherless, the widows, etc. I feel that I am doing exactly what He would be doing if He were here and its unbelievable.

That was my quick overview of my feelings. Read more if you want to hear more day-by-day :)

Friday, 28 May:
We traveled by bus to this ancient city of Bhaktapur (touristy). The bus ride was drastically bumpy... and an hour long. I have slight remaining marks of the bruises I received to my knees. There were shooting pains through my tummy, normal? I don't think so. Anyways, CRAZY adventure. We wandered around. I had children, beautiful children begging me for 5 rupees (1 dollar = 75 rupees) or a biscuit, which lasts in their bellies perhaps a couple hours? There were men behind several of them directing them. Sick to my stomach ready to punch? Yes. Christ like? No. But, we aren't to give them anything. Then I struggle with what Jesus would do. Then I struggle with what I actually do. I was reprimanded for being nice & asking their names, I guess I'm suppose to forcefully say no and turn my back ignoring them? What?! This is not okay to me. Prior to this I had turned down women asking me to buy milk for their skinny babies. Tears in my eyes walking away with Mr Chandler praying & singing Jesus songs to me. Back to it. We had a wonderful and cheap lunch (we maybe are spending 60 dollars a day for our entire team to eat) (and everything tastes GOOD) and continued to walk about. We had to depart in order to visit Children's Homes. My favorite. The group split into 2 & we went to different homes filled with children that were saved while at risk before actually being trafficked. The homes are set up with a Christian Nepalese mother and father (who are some of the greatest people God has every created) who pretty much adopt these kids (ages 3ish+). They are a family and the kids live with them until they find real jobs or get married or decide to move into their own home (not typical in any family in Nepal). The number of children in homes range from 6-40.40! Yes, you read that right. It is the happiest most joy filled moments we spend at these homes. The smile on just one child (thinking of one in particular) is enough to say the trip was fully worth it.

Saturday, 29 (I'll Write later)

News I have heard:
Death of Mr Coleman
Celine is prego with twins
Bangladesh has banded Facebook

LOVE OUT LOUD. Your prayers are changing my trip, changing the organizations I am working with, changing the lives of girls (trafficking), and ultimately changing Nepal.

God is good, Amen!